A diamond isn’t the only thing that’s forever.
Valentines Day is looming.
The Greeting card/Floral/Jewelry market forces prove
that Love is a verb made tangible by a sales receipt.
Don’t let your marketing-pitch-susceptible significant other think you have stiffed her.
Guys, you cannot coast on:
past dinners, backrubs, walks along the beach (at sunset), Oprah books,
toilet seats placed correctly, toothpaste tubes re-squeezed per standard,
dust bunnies hunted and captured, spiders exorcised,
any past white knight episode of the day (you got lucky once),
doors opened, cars washed, light bulbs replaced,
remembering where everything goes per prior agreement,
“does this make me look fat” answered with affection,
wearing those clothes she picked out for you at the Mall,
(she shopped, you paid, you hoped none of your friends saw you),
eating your brocolli and tofu together while watching Judging Amy,
or ending every sentence to her with “Yes M’am”.
Your prior flowers have wilted and been discarded.
On 2/14/2005: “What have you done for me lately?”
Uh-oh, I’m not helping myself out here . . . Gotta go make reservations at Chez Swank.
Gargoyle! Bring us your best Giraffe of Wine!
– a Cheech & Chong quote I’ll never forget.