Category: Holidays

iPad Nano – exclusive first

Your operatives at One Infinite Loop (the Apple Inc. HQ) have exclusive proofiness of the next Apple product. Our corporate spies used their iPhones to capture and smuggle these images so bigbonton fans can be the...

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there ain’t no flies on me

This is one of the few turkeys to see the sunrise the day after Thanksgiving. His name is Jake, as in Jake Turkey. More original than naming him Tom. Turkey Jake has his namesake from an old man with a saggy neck waddle. Human...

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Carolina Moon

“Carolina Moon, keep shining, Shining on the one who waits for me, Carolina Moon, I’m pining, Pining for the place I long to be, How I’m hoping tonight, you’ll go, Go to the right window, Scatter your light,...

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Yar 180

Below decks aboard the Poseidon II, the Chief Inversion Mate shows how seriously the maritime outfitters take their 1970’s fiction films (and the 2006 do-over). As you see in this stealth photo, this bilge is ready for a little...

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That’s My Gal

Hello, my baby Hello, my honey Hello, my ragtime gal Send me a kiss by wire Baby, my hearts on fire Learned a lot while spending time with her. For starters, her Burqa is a very nice material with a silken drape in a...

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this is too much with us

Not trying to be a wise man, but anyone know of a gold, frankincense, and myrrh discount outlet? Got a cousin that can get it for me wholesale? Chillax = Chill+relax. 1. To chill and relax simultaneously. 2. To reduce the level...

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faux fowls mark demographic changes

We’ve all heard of soy-based tofurkey, and veggies shaped like burgers, but next year maybe the hot-house melon growers can use a mold to shape this thing into a more fowl-like silhouette? It could happen. Makes sense. If...

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spoiled and working it

OH, over the river and through the woods to … UH, where are we going again? Whose house? Grandma’s house? She’s baking cookies and wearing her apron. BUT! Grandma might not be waiting for us to arrive. This...

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Grand Isle de Bontonia

The 2007 Holiday Refuge Camp was held on Grand Isle de Bontonia. The refugees arrived resembling pitiable huddled masses, showing a bit of embarrassment, not sure if they should be here, but sure they must look like losers for...

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swaddling clothes and a GPS implant

This season all the coolest manger displays feature a Christ-child with a bit of real-politick protection: a GPS implant that allows a speedy recovery of the boy-savior in case of pranksters being tempted to pilfer. Gold,...

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