bigbonton

dateline - Broadway by the Beach, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
We're in a training session on how to use our rented magic wands.

The seasonal employee pushes play on the MagiQuest training DVD.

"The Questmaster will instruct you .. The Quest... The Questmaster will zzmmbbb ... [digitally garbled verbage]"

We were having technical dificulties at the onset of the training session.
The seasonal employee said "Uh, it got stuck."

click here for more text and photo action

Continue reading "MagiQuest Lady, MagiQuest Girl" »

Posted by bonton at 5:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Initial reaction: Why? WHY?

The jokes write themselves:
"I! want to Rock and Roll all night,
and drink coffee evv-eer-eee day"

Myrtle Beach has a theme park called Broadway at the Beach, where the only ride is the one the consumers are being taken on. Willingly, knowingly, taken for a ride.
"Thank you sir, may I have another?" is the response to "Buy this".
The park is all shops, but they all have a theme so it’s
“like a fun new way to shop” [insert exclamation marks here]

Ordering a coffee is simple using the KISS version of Starbuck-speak:
Would you like a Beth-Blend, French KISS Vanilla, Rocket Ride Espresso in a
single, deuce, or destroyer sized cup?
Non-threatening for the presso-kave' newbie, no poetry reading or berets, as long as you can swagger and claim to have Rocked at some point in your life, you can fit in here.

Flashing a media credential at their opening day press conference, we got a 2006 look at the 1970s marketing marvels.

Continue reading "KISS Coffee Shop" »

Posted by bonton at 9:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Spinning out several times per lap was not an issue with the head mechanic.
He said "I'm just a red shirt" and tugged at his red uniform shirt.

His boss (15 years old?) wore a blue uniform shirt while walking the grounds.
Then the guys inside in the air conditioning wear white uniform shirts.

The other guy, the assistant head mechanic said, "Them guys in the office are the only ones that care about car abuse and they won't leave their desk. What they do inside all day I don't know."

Ever dogged a rental car while yelling "I got insurance!"?
Has anyone? Yes, of course.
Well, these cars are dogged all the live-long day.

Continue reading "our pit crew lets us wreck" »

Posted by bonton at 12:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

We made it to "Long Bay" as I was informed.
Featuring an asymmetrical diurnal tide (twice a day but not at equal heights).

exclusive view from the bigbonton suite _6/21/06_

Tee Off!

Overheard:

/ Him to Her: "Honey, you're just not as cute when you're helpless, ditzy, and just plain duh-filled".

/ lurking male tourist sees a bikini: "She single?"
- local: "uh, Nah, she's normal".

Oversaw:

3/ Hmm, Mommy must be a stripper, God Bless Her for spending time with the kid at the beach. - A favorite T-shirt of this season says "Support single Moms", with a pole dancing silhouette

4/ Award for Most Hurtin' Ad, if you think about it:
- Sunrise Liquors - "we deliver"

Stay tuned for the comprehensive list of Pancake Breakfast served-all-day restaurants.
And the live remote from Pedro's Sombrero.

Posted by bonton at 3:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Classroom Components: 1/ a fuji mum 2/ a fish bowl

fuji mum -
1) A rounded bloom with long narrow rays of petals, in this case displayed in a bulbuous container to enhance the wheel and spoke configuration

a fish bowl -
1) Everyone can see in and everyone looks.
2) The "celebrity fish bowl" fear is the fear of "being recognized" being overpowered by a worse fear of "not being recognized".

|digital update|
This just in -
Our in-house intellectual property comment counsel has advised us regarding a foreign agent demand that we recognize that:
1) presenting the above specialized patent-pending petri dish as a "fishbowl",
and/or
2) naming the microbe-laden osseous matter (including cartilage) being grown in said petri dish as a "plant, flower or (specifically) a Mum of any variety" places the Internet in the de meritorious and vicariously onus and culpable position of providing information that is "less than science on Earth".

Also, the warning included a demand that we not mention any warm liquid agar, any particular mix of nutrients, salts or amino acids that may provide aid to the enemy, most notably "traditional mammalian cell cultures".

wtf's up with that!
Pardon moi, Mr. Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people drinkin, thinkin that they got it made
Everyone sees in and everyone looks.
You used to be so amused, exchange all kinds of precious praise then sniff and look away
Since we got nothing, we got nothing to lose
Were invisible now, we've got no secrets to conceal.

"And everything I know is what I need to know
And everything I do's been done before
Every sentence in my head someone else has said"

I'm starting to speak in song lyrics, the agents, they've got me!

Continue reading "Freedom Fishbowl with Freedom Fuji Mum" »

Posted by bonton at 3:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

We've been back and forth over this bridge so many times it's become invisible.
We decided to look from a new perspective.

Keepin' it fresh from under some bridge somewhere.

This weekend was the Solstice Full Moon and the extra high tide that comes with it.
Great for sunset kayaking, so we put in and allowed ourselves to get a bit lost in the creeks.
[note: this is a wide river in the photo, not a tidal creek]
Not a real problem, letting yourself get lost in a maze of meandering marsh passages, since we could always scoot over the tops of most Spartina / marsh grass in the extra high tide and make a break for a channel, then follow the tide home.

Going on the water at sunset provides beautifuly soft light but you must be ready with:
1/ flashlights (plural). 2/ reflective hat, vest. 3/ whistle.

New stand-alone rule: just don't ever leave home without a whistle.
They're great on keychains and you never know when you may want to toot your own whistle and direct traffic or just tweet to become the center of attention (again).

Posted by bonton at 4:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)