You are browsing the August 2007 Archives
Not bad, not bad a-tall . . .
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Based on an ASP-based algorithm (currently unknown), but such valuable visual juxtapositions! The 2nd and 3rd iterations were not as effective.
It's beta-day, Aug 31, '07!
Get on it like me, it's considered work for this Friday.
Post-Birthday and one of my goals in life has been semi-fulfilled:
to appear on The Simpsons.
So close to being true yet still it feels somewhat vacant.
Cooly Casual.
It's the voice that's lacking. It's just a still photo. No animation to it. No life.
Is this all there is?
Then send in the clowns . . .
(don't bother, they're here).
simpson-ize-me
Here’s one of those things that ya drive past,
then ten seconds down the road it clicks and you ask yourself, “What was that!?!”
No other traffic around here, so we did a prompt u-turn.
If we didn’t check this out it might become our first-ever regret.
No one was around to ask so we're not sure what this “point of interest” is all about.
Since it’s within the horizon of Williams-Bryce Stadium,
home of the Fighting Gamecocks of the University of South Carolina (Go ‘Cocks!),
we’re assuming it’s related to SEC (Southeast Conference) college football and also the South Carolina State Fair.
A dog-day in August, a few trees around, some shade, no breeze.
The ground is covered with peanut shells. The wood railing and shelves had a faint bourbon-like scent. The elbow rail was suds stained and “mature”, as in worn smooth and smelling like a warm empty keg.
Anyone know of this spot?
Your input is welcome, we’re eager to join in and can participate as well as anyone!
Are we spitters? Yep, as needed. Not habitual spitters, but we keep in practice.
Argumentative? Well, we can be, if that’s what it takes to get a spot at the rail then we’ll just bow-up and start spouting opinions like a campaign stump-meeting wannabe.
Oh, hold on a minute, cool it now - we only spit on the ground and only argue for the cause of “truth, justice, and the American way.”
What might a Jaco sponsored argument be about?
* Politics? - Boring, unless you’re going to get me some o’dat gilded pork barrel funding.
* Chevy vs. Ford? - Nah, we’d just toss a Mini Cooper into the mix & it’d likely dampen the discourse.
* Mustard-based vs. vinegar or ketchup-based sauces? - Heck yeah! Any BBQ topic is worthy of hours spent at a leaning post.
B*rry B*nds, aka Barry Bonds hit home run number 756 over the right-center field wall in San Francisco, his home park.
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G**d W*rk B*rry.
T** B*d the F*ns B** Y*u When You Hit H*me Runs. *
* Good Work Barry.
Too Bad the Fans Boo You when you hit Home Runs.
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Our studiobonton embedded sports reporter has followed the record setting homers of this batting leader of our time. Not THE leading batter, just A batting leader. Always taking away recognition of the achievements of Barry; he will always have an asterisk*.
B*rry B*nds, aka Barry Bonds
Sample of no-asterisk home run batters:
Hank Aaron's 755, Babe Ruth's 714, Willie Mays's 660, Frank Robinson's 586, Harmon Killebrew's 573, Reggie Jackson's 563
Rumor has it that Barry had been juicing with a then undetectable performance-enhancing steroid called Tetrahydrogestrinone, which BALCO marketed as "the cream" and "the clear." Coinciding with the timing of the charges, Bonds went up two hat sizes! Know any other 30-plus year old heads that have grown two hat sizes?
Fans this season enjoy booing Bonds each time he comes to bat. Hundreds of asterisk signs (*) have been confiscated at the gates of ballparks, as directed by the Commissioner of Baseball, as any protests of the integrity of the homers would temper the fervor of the record setting.
“Only one player could be voted to start the All-Star Game and be booed in every stadium besides his own. Bonds can divide opinion, even within the same at-bat. He is often booed when he walks to the plate and cheered when he trots around the bases.” - July 9 NY Times
Barry Bonds has made no effort to become less disparaged, he’s the most aloof player in the game – aloof as in cold, remote. Not like a focused and uncomfortably famous Ted Williams, more like a brat of a man that can’t handle his position.
Many fans and the press consider Bonds “a crummy human.” In the early 1990s his divorce proceedings included testimony of Bonds kicking his wife in the *ss. Not the most shocking ever divorce court transcript, but the image stuck, “Star athlete kicks wife in *ss at home.”
Regardless, when he hits it, the ball fires off the bat and rises and rises and when gravity begins to grab a normally hit baseball, his hit is still rising. Up, up, arching, out, away, and eventually the hit begins falling back to earth. You just have to see it to believe it. Everyone in the ballpark floats for a moment along with the white ball.
The San Fran ballpark Splashdown Zone, the round float is a target for the homers.
Kayaks and an inflatable target in San Francisco Bay.
Barry could have made this record* sooner, but so many pitchers walked him with pitch-outs. Go on and pitch to Barry! It won’t really count like a real athletic stat anyway. Let it fly so the fans can float.
Is success with an asterick much of a success?
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
The proverb says to "balance your life", not "juggle your life with BALCO". The asterick spoiled the fun.
What a country!
We’ve got it all, don’t we? . . . Hey, uh, we do have it all, um, don’t we?
This summer teams up a professional driver with a suited PR man from HQ on a mission with a giant wiener, to spew a big red carbon footprint throughout wiener eating markets.
Their motivation? Spreading the awareness of their brand of wiener and playing an endlessly looped jingle that concludes with
“… everyone would be in love with me ...”
The team of the driver and PR suit spent most of their parking lot marketing interface face-time politely parting their hair with pocket combs.
They are professionally serious about their image.
wienermobile front
wienermobile back
The wienermobile team ignored all questions about the interior of the wienermobile. Is that a bunking hutch in the rear? Alas, we may never know.
Can’t you imagine that Monday morning marketing meeting
way back in January . . .
Wiener Big Boss: “Johnson, how would you feel about taking on a critical front line PR job? We need a man on it!”
Johnson: (thinking) “As a way to get out of the cubicle for the summer? Heck yeah!” (speaking) “I’d love the challenge, sir.”
Wiener Big Boss: “Well it’s front line duty and critical to our brand awareness to further the image we wish to project in today’s competitive wiener environment.”
Johnson: (speaking) “I’ll pack my best pocket comb, sir.” (thinking) “Road trip! I’ve always wanted to be able to say that, road trip! At long last, a fun summer. I knew if I stayed steady I’d get my reward! I’m really going places now, thanks to wieners!”
